connections

As I head into my last week of classes and continue barreling towards the possible conclusion of my academic career I have been reflecting on the friendships I have made recently. After over a year in my program it is only in the past couple of months that I have formed meaningful relationships with people in my program.

I have reached a point where conversations over coffee between classes no longer focus solely on whichever test or assignment due date is looming. More interesting and stimulating subjects are pursued. Well really we gossip about fellow students, dish about the boys in our lives or vent about whatever personal obstacle the universe has presented this week. But when our brains are brimming with economic theories and financial equations sometimes unloading the more superficial thoughts with someone over a warm caffeinated beverage is needed in order to free up some brain cells.

I had always figured the move back to Canada would be a painless process. Sure, I have lived in Australia for about half of the past nearly five years but it was never meant to be permanent so I suppose that kept me emotionally aloof on some sub(or not so sub)conscious level.

Yet there seems to be a cycle in my life of forming deeper connections with people mere moments before the inevitable farewell. Its as though there are two forces doing battle. The colder unaffected Alicia who wants to avoid the turmoil of the emotional farewell. And the softer, more sociable side who craves those deeper interactions that make days more interesting. Social has slowly chipped away at aloof's cold exterior for the past 16 months. Those impending good-byes won't be as easy as I had hoped.